A dear friend moved me to write about forgiveness today. I’ve gathered a few thoughts on the matter, and I would like to share them:
– Forgiveness is a process inside your own heart, it is not about the other person. Someone can be dead and you can forgive them, you can forgive someone without telling them, you can forgive someone even if they don’t know they hurt you. You can also forgive them for not knowing what they have done.
–There is a difference between forgiving someone and including them in your life. Two separate actions, neither requires the other in order to become true. You can decide to forgive and keep distance, it has merit, it is no less a forgiveness. You can breach the distance if you feel ready for it, or not at all if you think more harm can come out of the relationship.
– Forgiveness doesn’t require that the other person repent for what they did to you, it doesn’t require that they apologize to you. Again two different actions, someone could apologize and still forgiveness doesn’t come. Forgiveness can happen even without repentance or remorse from the other person. Again, forgiveness is an internal act of love, it depends only on you and not on the other person.
– It is more about forgiving yourself as well, allowing yourself to forgive.
– Or, forgive yourself for not being able to forgive just yet, if that is the case, just start the journey.
– You can forgive someone and not tell them about it. Again, two different actions, you can first forgive and when you are ready to do so maybe you will want to share it with the person.
A note about the dying: it is an act of ultimate compassion to tell a dying person that you forgive them from your soul, to help make the passing more peaceful. It is also an act of compassion to motivate a dying person to forgive those who have hurt them, maybe in a letter if the confrontations might be too much.
Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts,
May you find love and forgiveness in your heart,
All my love,