Sexual Energy and the Tao

In taoism, there is a breathing practice to activate and guide the sexual energies. There are several exercises, but the gist of if is to breathe in tightening the pelvic floor muscles, in order to make the sexual energy ‘rise’. The next step is to try to ‘feel’ it in the heart and transform it into love and compassion, and then breathe out. I like it that, for them, abstinence is not about ignoring and rejecting the sexual energy as something evil, but rather about using it to transform and grow. They really try to teach about how to deal with it, instead of just rejecting it, or burning it away. I don’t know if it really works, but it seems harmless enough and it’s worth a try. Certainly safer than going boy crazy and trying to find strangers to have sex with.

I’ve gotten to the ‘activation’ part, but then I get too restless and simply masturbate to get rid of it. Never gotten to the ‘transforming’ part. It really activates with that type of breathing, and then I feel like it’s a fire that’s out of control and is going to burn me if I don’t do something about it. I’ve only tried it in earnest once or twice. Maybe I’ll give it another try and see what happens.

Dealing with sexual energy is about acknowledging that I am a sexual individual, that sexuality is beautiful and it is not something bad and twisted (more remnants of my too catholic upbringing). In my upbringing, anything sexual outside of sex with the purpose of making babies during marriage, is seen as a ‘sin’. Something to be cleansed, purified and simply erased, you must ‘repent’ feel ‘guilty and ashamed’  and confess to a batty old priest and ask him for forgiveness. I see how this is wrong, but I’ve been brainwashed into thinking that it is true. I’m not even talking about actual having sex, I’m talking about feeling aroused.

So, here is to embracing my sexuality and my desire. Yes, I feel aroused, I think about sex and I am a sexual creature. It’s beautiful, it’s powerful…now let’s try and learn how to use all that power….


3 thoughts on “Sexual Energy and the Tao

  1. I like the direction you’re going in. Definitely sexuality is a natural and wonderful thing. It is also powerful, and yeah, there’s a lot to learn about how to use it wisely, and how not to abuse it. I sometimes wonder if working with women and children would be wiser when unmarried. I found it quite hard emotionally/sexually, when working with three men, plus various men who would come into the workspace during the course of the day. It is a little easier when my kids are with me. I have this thing about chaperones… I think they’re a good idea. (grin).

    • Hey Jessie,
      I sometimes wonder if working with women and children would be wiser when unmarried

      I don’t think so, it’s more avoidance. Men are a part of the world, it’s moot to try to avoid half the population. Better to just learn how to deal with it. In fact, before I never worked around so many men, so I never realized that this is something I do around men. It’s a barrier that’s kept me from having male friendships over the years. This is an opportunity to be my own chaperone and be the master of how I act.
      Also, there is a good side to working with men, this group specifically. They have a nice way of focusing on the job and keeping their personal lives out of it. Maybe it’s also a cultural thing, since I am in another country. At first I thought it was rather cold, but now I appreciate the distinction. Also, it’s easy to have work conversations with them without them getting emotional (like my previous female boss). Work is about work and that’s it. I’m learning that from them.
      So, no more avoidance, what I want is to learn how to deal with it.

  2. “Work is about work and that’s it. I’m learning that from them.”

    I remember this being the case when at work with men. I’ve always had men around, father and brothers, and then from the first job I had, I was often a girl among the guys. I preferred it to working with mostly girls (once) which showed them up as being catty and a bit ‘behind the back’ and manipulative. Guys tended to be up front and open. Or else just quiet. The work environment has its own rules, especially about things like sexual harassment, so it can be a good place to learn about men, if done carefully. The workplace rules in themselves work a bit like a chaperone, if adhered to by all parties. I don’t have any answers about male friendships. I’m at the stage where I am wondering if it is possible. Tackling it head-on and ‘learning on the job’ about how to deal with men is a courageous step. Take care out there. 🙂

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