Pointless

How can life just keep going and going?

Can’t you see I’m broken hearted?

Can’t you see I’m falling apart?

Is it all about the cheap thrills?

So much time to fill…. all those weekends ahead…all the endless work hours…

I despair and life just keeps going, unrelentless, unforgiving…pointless

Living is pointless, dying is pointless, it is all pointless

There will be no rest for the weary

I try to stay motivated, I do, I try, but it’s all pointless, motivated for what? more cheap thrills? petty emotions, broken feelings, broken opinions, broken plans, double lives?

I saw myself, I saw my broken heart, my empty shell, and I cried for me, but I don’t know how to fix me, I don’t even think there is a way to fix me. There is no point in fixing me.

I wanted to truly see myself and I did, now I don’t know what to do next. I despair.

 

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2 thoughts on “Pointless

  1. Hey Luna Sol, Have you ever tried reading the bible by yourself for yourself? I found that the message about life, death, purpose, in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John inspired hope and gave a framework for a purpose in life. Jessie

    • Hey Jessie,
      Thank you for your comment. I have read the bible, I’ve also read the tibetan book of the dead, the gnostic texts, new age philosophies, catholic theology, zen books, etc…
      The thing about all of them is that they have messages that can be useful, but what I’m looking for I can’t find in a book. However inspired the book. The main thing is that for me it feels not quite right to live my life according to what a book says. Any book, including the bible. All these books have been written and re-written to suit the pleasures of those in power, translated, cropped, edited. The message is so diluted and vague that it’s hard to tell what they mean.
      Then come religious people and try to interpret it for the rest. For me, that is even worst, it’s not just living based on a book, but based on some one else’s interpretation of it. That seems even more pointless than trying to find a point through experience.
      If you, and many others, have found a purpose in the bible, that’s good for you, it just doesn’t work for me.

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