Or rather who are we?
A friend asked me a question the other day, something I couldn’t answer. She said, define yourself without mentioning the following things: name, gender, place of birth/habitation, occupation, studies. So, the question is, who am I? not, where am I from or what do I do, but who am I?
I’m very unsettled that I don’t have an answer for that one. My first thought was, I’m a spiritual being, and ok, that’s valid enough but it doesn’t ring completely true; that doesn’t mean it’s false, it’s just not completely true.
I could say I’m a student of life, I seek to learn about everything, about how to live and about myself. I enjoy learning for the sake of learning, this month I am learning how to ski, my objective is not the actual skying, but the learning process (a lot of time either eating snow or warming it with my butt). Still, that seems like not enough.
I am many, I could say that, but I feel like that is more a ‘state’ of things than a hard truth. I don’t feel like I have more than one soul, whatever the soul is anyway, but I do feel like I have several ways of being, personalities so to speak. ‘Ways’ of being, not the same as ‘beings’. (it’s great to know that we all think we are the same being, or do we??)
I am a creator of ideas, not very concrete ones at the moment, but slowly solidifying. I like this one ‘creator of ideas’. However, it also doesn’t ring true, I am perplexed by knowledge, it’s like once I learn something I feel like I already knew it but had forgotten it. Like the process of learning for me is really a ‘remembering’. The same happens when I draw, once I start I feel like I am helping the figure out of the paper, it’s already there, I just need to help it come out. I’ve heard artists talk like this. This reminds me to look up more about the philosophy on the ‘world of ideas’…but I’m side tracking. So, instead of ‘creator of ideas’ I am a remember-er of ideas, would the right word be ‘remembrancer’?
I could also say that I’m an artist of sorts, but that one really rings false, art is something I do from time to time; not something I am. I can remember art, I can even make art, but am ‘I’ art? Every human body is a work of art, so maybe from that angle I ‘am’ art. Every mind is a world, so every mind is ‘art’, by definition but not by action. Am I art in action? If I’m not, this is one I would like to be.
Am I defined by a set of emotions? I could list a few… cool headed, practical, smart, loving, funny, empathic, compassionate….or, lusty, envious, proud, vane, lazy, selfish…. Are emotions really an end? they seem so fickle…No, I am not a set of emotions, I am capable of emotion (up to a point) but I am not ’emotion’ personified.
We are adventurers, now that one rings true, I am an adventurer. Always looking for the next thrill, the next challenge, the next opportunity to change. Both physically and mentally.
What about this? who am I with respect to others? I don’t know….hopefully I help them ‘remember’ and ‘venture out’.
That’s all the time I have for now, but this is not over, deep question, needs more thinking. I should also think of the things I am that I don’t like.
To wrap up, I am a ‘remembrancer’ and an ‘adventurer’ seeking to become ‘art in action’.