I´ve been aching to write new year´s resolutions, as cliché as that sounds. I need to sort myself out of this rut that I´ve been zombying around in. I need to wake up, life is passing me by and I´m not participating in it. I´m beginning to think I`m depressed, I´m not sad or mopey all the time, it`s just the indifference that has settled over everything. I don´t care much about doing one thing or another, I could stay home just as well as go out, or work , or see friends. There isn´t much of a drive to do anything, this can get a lot worst if I don´t do something about it. All I want to do is sleep and I´m doing it wrong, I sleep and sleep and don´t rest.
So here´s a list of something or other:
Things I´m already doing that I want to keep doing:
- The caves, but I´m sad because my language course for February interferes with the caving club meeting schedule. I have to decide to do either one or the other.
- Learning a language…see conflict with number 1.
- My job, this was last year´s big resolution, and I´m really glad I got this job that I like and is what I was hoping for.
Resolutions that I´m actually aiming for:
- Wake up every day at the time I set the alarm, no snooze button, not even once.
- Mental discipline at work, no drooling, no distractions, even if the work is going slowly and painfully.
- Write on my blog every day for 30, 10 days and then decide if I will continue.
- Work out at least 3 times a week.
- Eat decently, no more fries at lunch.
- Learn a language. This means that I actually need to STUDY the language I´m trying to learn.
Things I would like to do if I were the master of myself (will try to do the 6 previous ones and then see if these seem doable):
- Run or swim every day.
- Do 10 minutes of yoga when I wake up.
- Eat properly, no wheat.
- Do one drawing every day.
Harder things that seem impossible:
– Decide whether or not to get married, apparently and in spite of myself, it is still an option and I´ve been considering it again, even if Luna had decided to end the relationship. We miss the brother of our soul, and yet we think it is weird to have sex with the brother of our soul. We don´t like it, we do want to have sex, just not with him, but we love him and he loves us and we cannot imagine ever loving someone else….sigh….we´ve been aware of this conundrum for over two years now. There seems to be no way to figure things out.
– Study physics…the really whacky stuff, we like it, just for fun, but it would take a lot of energy and time.
– Maintain proper posture at all times.
– WAKE UP!!!! Stop daydreaming, I think I´ll write a post about that, it´s ridiculous that I spend all my time lost in daydreams.
So there, that´s my wish list for 2013. May this year bring all the best and all that blah blah blah….