I am having trouble writing more posts because of several reasons. One of them, and the biggest one, is that I don’t want anyone I know to read this blog and know that I am writing it. So, that limits the extent of what I can write so that my life doesn’t filter into here. Second, I am so tired of keeping secrets, I’ve always kept secrets from everyone I love, and this blog is just another secret if I don’t want to let people I know read it.
The reason I don’t want people I know to read this is because I’ve kept many secrets over the years. I don’t want them to ever find out, and much less through a blog. I’ve kept secrets of sexual experiences as a child, secrets of suicide plans (I’ve never really had the intention of carrying them out, but the plan was there, just in case), secrets of fantasies, secrets of…. I’ve kept some secrets from other secrets, I’ve kept secrets from myself. I’ve even forgotten some of the secrets I’ve kept.
Even this I feel is more than I can say. Writing is such a release though, I feel like I need it. However, I don’t know whether I’ll continue to post here since I don’t want to start something big and have it be yet another secret I keep from the people in my life.